TEL AVIV, Israel (AP) 鈥 At a busy Tel Aviv entertainment district, diners spill into outdoor seating and clink glasses as music fills the air. There鈥檚 laughter, there鈥檚 life. But all around the patrons, staring down from lampposts and shop windows, are pictures of hostages held in Gaza, stark reminders that Israel is at war and forever scarred by the deadliest attack in its history.
As reaches its one-year mark, it can seem on the surface that much of life in the country has returned to normal. But with many still reeling from , hostages remaining in captivity and in the north, many Israelis feel depressed, despondent and angry as the war stretches into its second year.
Uncertainty over the future has cast a pall over virtually every part of daily life, even as people try to maintain a sense of normalcy.
鈥淭he conversation about the situation is always there," said activist Zeev Engelmayer, whose daily postcard project featuring illustrations of hostages or Israel's new reality has become a fixture at anti-war protests. "Even those who are sitting in coffee shops, they鈥檙e talking about it, in every single situation I see it. It鈥檚 impossible to get away from it. It has entered into every vibration of our life.鈥
Rattled Israelis feel hopeless
Hamas' attack in which some 1,200 people were killed and 250 kidnapped and stability in their homeland.
Many have been rattled by the war's evolution. Nearly 100 hostages remain in Gaza, with less than 70 believed to be alive. Israelis have experienced attacks 鈥 Iran and , , and stabbings 鈥 as the region braces for further escalation.
They've watched as Israel is war crimes and genocide in Gaza and becomes internationally.
鈥淚鈥檓 almost 80 鈥 we grew up in this country with a feeling that we have short wars, and we win them quickly,鈥 said Israeli historian Tom Segev, who described new feelings of utter hopelessness. 鈥淲e鈥檙e not used to a long war.鈥
Israelis have long harbored a sense that their country, born of and surviving a panoply of regional threats, is a success story, Segev said. They've strived, he added, for a normality akin to that of European and North American people, though their reality for decades has been anything but.
鈥淚 think that history is going backward,鈥 he said of the past year. 鈥淓verything we have achieved on our way to becoming a normal state isn鈥檛 happening.鈥
Reminders are everywhere. At a Hebrew University graduation in Jerusalem, a large yellow ribbon was placed in front of the stage. A graduate who didn't attend because his brother was killed in Gaza the previous day was honored.
Internal divisions grow
Israel's longstanding internal divisions briefly eased in the aftermath of Hamas鈥 attack, but have only intensified since. Weekly protests calling for that would free hostages are attended mostly by secular Jewish Israelis who oppose Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his government.
According to a September poll by Jerusalem-based think tank Israel Democracy Institute, 61 percent of right-wing Jewish Israelis 鈥 Netanyahu's base 鈥 support the war continuing.
Occupied with their own trauma, most Israelis paid scant attention to the ongoing destruction in Gaza, even as the Health Ministry there put the Palestinian death toll at more than 41,000. Israeli media have reported little on the devastation. Israelis calling for a cease-fire are driven overwhelmingly by the hostages' plight.
Many Israelis at leaders and the military for not preventing Hamas鈥 attack. Tens of thousands of people are expected at an alternative ceremony marking one year since then, as a statement against the government's official commemoration. The state ceremony is being prerecorded without a live audience, in part because of fears of heckling and disruptions.
鈥淭he thing we lost on Oct. 7 鈥 and we haven鈥檛 gotten it back 鈥 is our feeling of security,鈥 Muli Segev, executive producer of "Eretz Nehederet," a popular sketch comedy show. 鈥淒espite everything, we have been able to create a life here that鈥檚 pretty open and Western.
"Especially in Tel Aviv, we go about our lives, and we don鈥檛 think about the fact that our lives are really just pauses between wars and between explosions of violence."
In the war's early months, the show's sketches were gentler, focusing on what united Israeli society, such as the massive civilian volunteer response. Over time, they featured more pointed satire, including a reimagining of negotiations if the hostages were Israeli politicians' children 鈥 released in less than two hours.
Parts of life have rebounded 鈥 beaches full of people, bustling cafes, concerts and sports back on schedules. But residents also check for the nearest bomb shelter, deal with school cancellations when violence flares up, and avoid domestic travel hubs that are now off-limits. Heartbreaking news arrives regularly, including the in August.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a nightmare; we鈥檙e just getting used to it,鈥 said Maya Brandwine, a 33-year-old graphic designer who witnessed that killed seven on Tuesday. 鈥淚 have so little hope. I鈥檓 sure the situation will only get worse.鈥
Dror Rotches, a 47-year-old graphic designer, said from a Tel Aviv coffee shop: 鈥淲e try to go out when we can, meet friends and try to forget for a few hours. Then we go home and keep slogging through the mud.鈥
Others simply can't return home. More than 60,000 from Israel's northern border with Lebanon are displaced. Thousands from the southern towns ransacked Oct. 7 are in temporary housing. Tens of thousands of reserve soldiers are serving their second or third tour of duty, straining their families and jobs.
鈥淎s the war goes on and on and we can鈥檛 see the end, there鈥檚 also a type of very large worry over the future, and, for some, if there is even a future here,鈥 Muli Segev said.
At this cafe, life meets war
Cafe Otef seems like any of Tel Aviv's ubiquitous coffee shops: Patrons laugh and sip specialty coffee beside a playground; light rock music plays. But next to the sandwiches and cakes are chocolates made from the recipes of Dvir Karp, who was killed in the Oct. 7 attack, and cheeses from , where more than 100 died and 30 were taken hostage. Totes and T-shirts for sale declare 鈥淲e shall thrive again.鈥
The cafe, named for the region next to the Gaza border, is run by residents of Re'im, one of the kibbutzes struck. It's the second shop in the new chain, each aiming to support people of a southern Israeli town where lives were upended.
鈥淭he war still continues for almost a year, and I feel that if we won鈥檛 live, we will die,鈥 said Reut Karp, cafe owner and Dvir's ex-wife. She lives with most of her kibbutz in temporary housing nearby.
The cafe gives her purpose as her community deals with trauma and the uncertainty of returning home. While it's strange to see people flowing through the doors, going about life as normal, she and the staff have found comfort in the routine.
鈥淲e must take ourselves out of bed and continue to live and to work and to have the hope," Karp said. "Because without this hope, we don鈥檛 have anything.鈥
