BOSTON (AP) — EDITOR’S NOTE — This story includes discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at .
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Red Sox outfielder Jarren Duran said in an upcoming documentary series that two years before his 2024 All-Star season, the pressures of the sport led him to intense bouts of depression and an attempted suicide.
鈥淚 remember when I was going through it and you start losing a couple of games and you鈥檙e not doing good, it feels like the world is kind of creeping in on you," Duran, 28, said in the fourth episode of an titled, 鈥淭he Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox,鈥 which will debut on Tuesday.
The episode chronicles the journey of Duran, a seventh-round draft pick in 2018, to making his MLB debut in 2021 after becoming one of the majors' top prospects as one of the top hitters in the minors. It also delves into his struggles not long after getting called up to the majors, as the former infielder had a difficult time adapting to playing in the outfield.
鈥淭hey love you one day, and then the next day they have to grind on you a little bit," Duran recalled.
He said there were times he felt players were treated like 鈥渮oo animals.鈥
鈥淪ometimes some fans take it too serious. I feel they cross the line when they start talking about my mental health 鈥 making fun of me for that," Duran said. "Calling me weak. It just kind of triggered me when you start talking about mental health because I feel like that is just part of it 鈥 that loneliness. Some people deal with it better than others."
The intense atmosphere of the Boston sports media market also wore on him, he said.
鈥淚 remember when I first started struggling I was like, just send me back down (to the minor leagues)," he recalled. "It honestly felt like there was a dark cloud over me because it鈥檚 so easy to look past the positive things for me, and then to grab onto the negative things.鈥
That pressure to perform came to a head at one point for the young slugger.
鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 deal with telling myself how much I sucked everyday,鈥 Duran said. 鈥淚 was already hearing it from fans. And what they said to me, (it鈥檚 not like) I haven鈥檛 told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn鈥檛 even want to be here anymore."
The series' director, Greg Whiteley, then asked, 鈥淲hen you say, 鈥榟ere,鈥 you mean here with the Red Sox or here on planet Earth?鈥
鈥淧robably both,鈥 Duran said before going into detail.
In a statement, Red Sox President and CEO Sam Kennedy commended Duran for being open about taking care of his mental health.
鈥淛arren鈥檚 decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball," Kennedy said. "By opening up, he鈥檚 showing others who may be struggling that they鈥檙e not alone and that asking for help isn鈥檛 just okay, it鈥檚 essential. Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he鈥檚 always had our full support, and we鈥檙e incredibly fortunate to have him as part of our team.鈥
Manager Alex Cora said he was aware of the situation long before the Netflix filming.
鈥淚 mean, obviously, I was aware of it," Cora said on Monday before Boston's scheduled game against Toronto. "Since I learned about it, me as a person, I've been giving him support, love. I'm somebody that he can talk to. That door鈥檚 always open. The relationship has grown throughout the years. Obviously, a lot of private conversations about the subject. I truly believe that him opening up is going to help a lot of people.
鈥淚t takes a person with courage and being transparent and genuine to do that. ... I hope that鈥檚 how we see it 鈥 that he will impact others and he鈥檚 going to save lives with what he did in Netflix."
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AP freelancer Ken Powtak contributed to this report.
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